The Piano...

          I remember the times when the most i could think of or ask for was having a piano. The times when a piano was all i aimed for, my one and only desire. I used to wonder where i'd put it, what color it would be, and how it would look like.... That was all i aspired. I had not yet known all the miseries and pleasures of life that awaited me. I grew old faster than i could grasp or notice. It was as though i had slept and woken up the following day twenty years older. Critical times where a few inches away from me as i lay quietly in my summer bed thinking of the piano... Lurking beside my innocent bed they patiently wait for me to shut my eyes...
so that they can slowly and quietly walk into my life and fit somewhere far away yet very close to me.

          That night i slept afraid... of what i could not tell at the time... Looking back at that night now... Everything seems so clear. So I closed my eyes and fell deep in a pit of pain and darkness. A nightmare was to follow, and i wake up a few years later. I walk into the bathroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror... I see a single white hair... immediately i pluck it off so hard and throw it away... i smile and leave. And it still lurks... I cannot look corner ways, for there they lay... There the scary man lives.

          And one fall follows the other. I looked for him and could not find him around me. I searched for him persistently yet found nothing... He had left. I held myself strong when they told me the news, for it was no news to me. I held myself strong. I drew a smile on my face, i drew rest over my aching body and kept going. I was strong, i fought and won, he was there after all but behind me pushing me and giving me strength... he had never left... I rode the car, and the lids over my eyes fell off, and water streamed out carving deep lines on my cheeks, and i tricked people into thinking they were my wrinkled laughing cheeks... 

       
          One fall follows the other... people come and go, no one stays... one has to face his fears alone with the source... People want you smiling all the time, people want you happy all the time, people want you strong all the time... People want gods, they have no business with other people. And although time has passed and more has happened than the time that has passed, I still stand overwhelmed, but i have no time to  react to my past, only enough time to play the piano i never got yet.