The mistress of me.

     Flooded with the passion to write. Embraced by the holy spirit and tortured with hidden words on purpose, comes the need to spill ethereal words into written text. Bounded by the capability of he who reads and understands to truly grasp the meaning, the meaning remains in the belly of the writer as the saying goes.
     Have i not expressed enough yet? Maybe i have for those who do not censor the true meaning of the words, yet words are very limited and scaled. If i had ever thought of writing this before, i probably would have exposed the true uncensored innate meaning, maybe then i would have been released from the prison of restlessness, yet trouble would have tagged along.
No one is truly a stranger of what i mean, some might be strangers of what they understand. The true intention is not to reveal my own buried thoughts, as much as it is to reveal yours. The reaction you present explains all what you intend to hide and not express. Who is he, he without the buried secret i ask?!
   
     I have once spoken with the wise man, he told me, " Come to peace with your buried secrets and maybe then they wont be secrets anymore, they would be the living you you fear to show!"
I say maybe it is true, bearing deep inside that it is, maybe it is, but why is it that he thought of me not being in peace? Aren't i? Maybe it is you who would be threatened hearing the truth. The truth is me, and i am the truth.
If i lie, and represent myself as someone else, then i am a living lie. When i say something and do something else, it is me being the hypocrite.
So the question is not whether to reveal it or keep it buried deep inside, the question is, whether people are prone to understanding or not. I think all are, but given the choice, they would chose to feel threatened and insecure, because they would feel much safer in a sense. Running away from reality instead of facing it is the easiest thing.
So until further Notice, i shall live with my mistress alone behind the eyes of people. Yes, my mistress, for my deep thoughts and beliefs and true persona, the things that are shielded off from the eyes of he who does not see, are my mistress, my lifelong mistress i live with, we are one. For I am the mistress of me.